wynnesome

[FICLET] Threats and Menaces Rumor Reveal: Superhero Lies!
Team Kill fill for the 2022 SteveTony Games ( stevetonygames )
Work Type: Fic (221 words)
Universe: 616
Bingo Square: Lies
Challenge: Inspired By
Content Warning: Moderately graphic description of injuries

This little bit of fake-clickbait is inspired by FestiveFerret and melaniehoping's amazing "Trashiverse" tabloid edit set from the 2020 Games. I wrote the content, but just don't have the actual time to create the multimedia piece, sadly, so that part will have to be up to the imagination.

Threats and Menaces is basically the 616 version of TMZ or the like, whatever sensationalistic celebrity gossip tabloid site. I envision this article as a multimedia segment on their web site, probably with the headline and introductory text on a teaser page, then a link to another page with a video and the actual top ten list, plus, of course, a bunch of obnoxious ads all over the place.

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THREATS AND MENACES RUMOR REVEAL OF THE DAY: SUPERHEROES AREN'T ALWAYS AS HONEST AS YOU THINK!

We've compiled our list of the top ten lies told by superheroes, all researched and verified by our experts.
And, we caught up with two of our favorite Avengers to get their reactions!

We found Captain America and Iron Man, fresh from their most recent supervillain skirmish, and it looked like it was a rough one! Always close comrades-in-arms, they leaned heavily upon one another, the Sentinel of Liberty with his uniform in tatters, and what appeared to be sections of rebar protruding from several areas of his body! And Ol' Shellhead's armor was deeply dented, crumpled at the left knee, with his lower leg barely better than dragging as he walked. Bloody gashes and bruises marred both their faces when they removed helmet and cowl to speak with us.

Our Heroes' well-being is our top priority! Seeing them so much the worse for wear, before we put this pair in front of our cameras, we expressed our concern for their injuries. But when asked if they needed medical attention, both Avengers emphatically replied, "I'm fine."

Now that's the stirring confidence that makes them an inspiration to us all!

For Cap and Iron Man's further comments, and that complete "Top Ten Superhero Lies" list, click here!

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(Click-through would lead to a page with the embedded video of Cap and Iron Man on the street with big TV-style mics shoved in their faces, looking beaten to within an inch of their lives, starting the interview by brushing off the "are you ok, do we need to get you to a hospital??" questions with "I'm Fine" responses, and then answering some vapid questions.)

(And then the actual list, which I envision reading something like this:)

10. A-OK.
9. Nothing to worry about.
8. Nothing broken.
7. None of this blood is mine.
6. No doctor needed.
5. Not a scratch.
4. Feeling no pain.
3. Never better.
2. It was worth it.

And the Number One Lie told by Superheroes:
(drum roll, please!)

1. I'm Fine!